<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>What Was Lost Along the Way by Persnicketese</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472440">What Was Lost Along the Way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persnicketese/pseuds/Persnicketese'>Persnicketese</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Destiny (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Self-Reflection</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:46:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25472440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Persnicketese/pseuds/Persnicketese</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the quiet moments between the battles, you try not to think about the thoughts that have simmered below the surface since you were first revived. Who were you? And what exactly does it mean to not remember.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Was Lost Along the Way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You rose from death into a broken world that you barely recognized but desperately needed you. Pushing yourself to your feet for the first time in this new life, you left the shattered remains of the old one forgotten in your makeshift grave and ran forward. There wasn’t any time to think then, you had to get to the City, to your destiny. There was a long, hard fight ahead of you.</p><p>In the first waking moments of this brand new life, you looked down at your hands. Who you were, what you were, all the little pieces that made up everything that is you had been stripped away to the foundations. Memories were gone. Who were you? What dreams did you have? What fears kept you up at night? To be revived as a Guardian meant losing all that. The only thing you knew right then was that you had to fight, and so that’s what you did.</p><p>And so you pushed yourself ever onward, forward towards the frontline. Fight after fight you threw yourself into it with all you had, never slowing. It was rewarding but there was always something else, something you barely wanted to acknowledge. You knew if stopped for just one moment what was chasing you would catch up. So faster you ran, like the wind, towards the people who needed you now. The City, the Vanguard, humanity, all of them needed you at your best, so you did what you could.</p><p>Even then it was always right behind you. It dogged every step you took waiting for the right moment. Even in war there are quiet moments where you have to stop to breathe, to rest, to think. The moments where nothing you could do would stop what was forcing its way to the front of your mind. And in that moment it crashed over you like a wave on Titan and dragged you under.</p><p>A heartache that didn’t make sense consumed you until you felt tears well up. It doesn’t make sense. How could it? A lead brick in the pit of your stomach. A heaviness in your heart that breaks it every time you touch it. The urge to curl up and sob until every shattered piece inside of you runs in rivulets down your face with your tears. A pain; deep and old. Grief; pure and deep.</p><p>A plain gold band you woke up with on your left ring finger. A small toy left forgotten in your pocket, left by tiny hands. A nearly ground up animal treat that still had tiny teeth marks in it. A handwritten note full promises of later joy. A locket with an inscription of everlasting love forever upon its heart. Bits and pieces of who you were, the people behind these concrete memories past your reach and forever gone. </p><p>In its stead was a grief for a loss that you cannot remember. A grief for what was lost and can never be found. As the feelings of heartache and sorrow overwhelm you, you know that even if your memories were taken away it could never erase the life that came before completely. How could it not when your life was touched so deeply the people who shaped your life before? Love that survives even resurrection. Tangled pieces of love and pain that survive even now. Love that survives all. Grief was worth that. What little pieces of yourself and your life that remained, you would grieve because it kept a part of who you were and who they were alive with you.</p><p>So you grieve in the ways you can. A drink with friends, a dinner date with loved ones at the ramen place, sitting in the shadow of the Traveller and marveling at the little joys the people in the City below can feel because you keep them safe. It’ll never replace what was lost but it can help find joy anew. You can honor what came before and what is now however you can because tomorrow was never promised.</p><p>Grief will still haunt your steps as you fight onward, you know this. It is part and parcel to this life, even this new one. It comes in the silence between battles, in the new friends you lose even now. Grief old and new will mix and combine, the heavy weight pulling at you but with this new life comes new joys. It’s a fight like any other, but at least you aren’t alone. </p><p>Friendly voices on the comms cheering you on, giving your encouraging words. The soft hands loved ones tugging you into their arms to hold you tight when you return home. Home. One you’ve made in this new life and share with those who also feel the same way. And your Ghost, ever at your side. No, you aren’t alone. Grief will find you but you will meet it all together. It’s a fight and it’s one you’ll win. </p><p>Eyes up, Guardian.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Was listening to Julia by Reeder and my mind started to wonder about what it must be like to be revived and have little tokens of who you were still upon you. Time for a feels trip, apparently.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>